A Real Man

by srendell29

This post is part of a four-post series that begins with “What About Men?”. This is one of many stories that will help answer the question, “How are men involved in maternal health care in Burkina Faso?”

I am sitting across from a 27-year old man who has one child with his 25-year old wife of 4 years.  She is in the second trimester of her second pregnancy.I am sitting across from a 27-year old man who has one child with his 25-year old wife of 4 years.  She is in the second trimester of her second pregnancy.   “A real man,” he says “knows how to look after his family. He knows how to take charge.”

“How do you take charge?”

“You know when she has appointments. I kept all her papers. I have her echos from the first pregnancy. I have the prescription receipts. I know what we paid. When she is sick, I make sure she goes to the hospital. I give her money to pay the prescriptions and to pay the appointments.”

“What would happen if her care was too expensive and you didn’t have the money to pay.”

He glares at the ground between us and his jaw muscles clench. “I’m the master of the house. I do my best so we have enough to pay what we need.”

Afraid of offending him, I do not ask, “Has there ever been a time when you could not pay?”

I wonder, He is so angry and defensive when I bring up not being able to pay.  If his wife is prescribed something too expensive for him, will she even tell him?

“Do you ever go to her appointments with her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“They are in the morning. I work in the morning. Should I ask for a work absence just because my woman has an appointment? That makes no sense. I have to work to pay.”

To protect the privacy of interviewees, none of the pictures posted are of interview participants. This image was taken at the local market and is not of the man who is the subject of this post. Photo by Stephanie Scott.

“If the appointments were in the evening, would you like to go?”

He squinted his eyes, thinking. He lifted both his hands and opened his palms. “Yes, I’d go. I’d go to the pharmacy when she needed to pay things.”

« Would you like to hear what the doctors have to say to her ? »

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because then I can make sure she does what they say. I can make sure she heard them. When I know she needs to take a medicine, she won’t forget.”

He continued.

“A man of honor is a man who knows how to make decisions so that his whole family is healthy. You know a worthy man when you see that health and peace are in his entire house.”

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